Destined for Each Other, But Still Struggling: Why Even God-Ordained Marriages Can Fail
Have you ever wondered how a marriage that started with a clear divine instruction still ends in heartbreak? How is it that two people who were convinced that God brought them together now stand as strangers—or worse, enemies?
It’s a paradox that shakes the faith of many: marriages that were supposedly “made in heaven” still falling apart on earth. The truth is, hearing from God about your spouse is just the beginning—it is not a guarantee of success. Marriage is not autopilot; it requires intentional effort, wisdom, and unwavering commitment to God's principles.
The painful reality is that even a God-ordained marriage can fail if couples neglect certain foundational principles. Let’s dive into the key reasons why some divinely led marriages still collapse and how to ensure that yours thrives.
Key Reasons why Some Divinely Led Marriages Still Collapse
1. Mistaking ‘God Said’ for ‘It Will Be Easy’
Some people believe that because God spoke, everything will fall into place effortlessly. But God’s word does not exempt anyone from the responsibility of building and maintaining a relationship. Marriage is a covenant, and all covenants require intentional work, patience, and sacrifice.
Just as God can call someone into ministry, yet they must still put in effort to grow spiritually and fulfill their calling, marriage is no different. A God-ordained marriage that lacks continuous nurturing will still suffer the same fate as any other relationship lacking care and effort.
2. Believing That an Ordained Partner is Perfect
One of the most damaging misconceptions is the belief that because God chose someone, they must be flawless. Every human being has weaknesses, struggles, and areas in need of growth. Many marriages fail because partners place unrealistic expectations on each other, forgetting that they are still human. A successful marriage requires acknowledging imperfections and working together in love and patience.
3. Falling Out of Seeking God's Face in Marriage
4. Failing to Align with God’s Principles for Marriage
Many couples hear God concerning a spouse but fail to abide by His principles for marriage. The Bible provides a blueprint for a godly union—love, respect, selflessness, and submission to God’s will. However, if couples operate based on emotions, pride, or worldly wisdom instead of biblical truth, their marriage will be unstable.
Common ways couples stray from God’s principles:
- Lack of forgiveness and harboring offenses.
- Prioritizing personal desires over God’s will.
- Failing to seek godly counsel and accountability.
- Handling conflicts in a harsh way rather than through love and humility.
For example, if a husband refuses to love his wife as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25), or if a wife refuses to respect her husband (Ephesians 5:33), their marriage will struggle. God’s instruction about who to marry does not mean that He will override your choices if you fail to uphold His standards.
5. Lack of Tolerance and Understanding
Many marriages fail because partners lack tolerance for each other’s weaknesses and differences. Instead of choosing to be patient and work through issues, they become critical and intolerant. For instance, if a spouse has a habit that irritates the other, rather than addressing it with love, they react harshly, leading to resentment.
Differences in personality, upbringing, and experiences can create friction, but without tolerance, small issues can escalate into major conflicts. A successful marriage requires patience, humility, and the willingness to grow together rather than giving up at the first sign of discomfort.
6. Neglecting Growth and Adaptation
People change, grow, and evolve over time. Many marriages fail because couples do not intentionally grow together. Courtship and early marriage may reveal one version of your partner, but different seasons of life will reveal other dimensions. Without a commitment to continuous learning and adapting, partners may grow apart rather than together.
This is why it is important to set mechanisms for growth early in the relationship.
Key questions to ask include:
- How will we maintain spiritual growth together?
- How do we handle seasons of emotional or financial stress?
- How will we address weaknesses we discover along the way?
- What accountability systems can we have in place?
Setting periodic check-ins to evaluate personal and relational growth can help couples stay aligned in their journey together.
7. Spiritual Warfare and the Need for Prayer
Marriage is a spiritual institution, and the enemy often seeks to destroy what God has ordained. Many couples underestimate the need for consistent prayer and spiritual warfare over their union. Some marriages fail not because they were not meant to be, but because the partners did not cover their relationship in prayer.
Before marriage, couples should develop a lifestyle of intercession, committing their future to God and praying over their union. Waiting until problems arise before seeking God’s help can leave room for the enemy to sow discord and destruction.
Final Thoughts: Marriage Requires Both God’s Word and Human Effort
Hearing from God is the start of the journey, not the final destination. If couples embrace both divine guidance and practical wisdom, they can build a marriage that not only begins with God’s voice but also thrives in His will.
Share your thoughts!
What new insights have you gained from this? How do you intend to ensure that your God-inspired marriage will last? If you’re single, what key principles will you apply when the time comes? Drop your thoughts in the comments below!
Comments
Post a Comment