Does “God Said” Guarantee a Happy Marriage? The Truth No One Talks About

I received a call from a friend the other day, and the question she asked stopped me in my tracks.

"How do you know the difference between God saying ‘This is your spouse’ and just getting to know someone through courtship? What if God truly speaks, but things still fall apart? Should I trust divine instruction, or should I just date to understand the person first?"

It wasn’t just another relationship question—it was a real dilemma that many people secretly wrestle with. And the truth is that I didn’t have a one-line answer because I’ve seen both sides of the story:

  • Couples who married because “God said”—yet their marriages ended in divorce.

  • Couples who dated for years, thought they knew everything about each other, yet still couldn’t make marriage work.

  • People who ignored God’s voice and suffered for it.

  • And those who followed only their emotions and ended up broken.

So, where do we draw the line? If God reveals someone as your spouse, does that mean you should rush into marriage? Or should courtship still be a time of testing, learning, and growing?

This question took me into deep reflection, and I realized something powerful:

Yes, God can lead you to a person, but a successful marriage is not just about how it starts—it’s about how it’s sustained.

So let’s break it down. How do you balance divine direction and intentional preparation in relationships?  

1. The Role of "God Said" in Marriage

Many believe that if God says someone is their spouse, it automatically means the marriage will be successful. But this is far from the truth just as that God has a blissful future prepared for everyone but not everyone gets to that point. 

God’s guidance in relationships is real, but it does not override:

  • Free will and personal choices 
  • The need for preparation 
  • The importance of building compatibility and understanding

God does not force relationships, but He provides wisdom and direction. Even when God highlights a person as suitable, you must still take responsibility for knowing, understanding, and preparing for marriage.

2. The Importance of Courtship: The Bridge Between "God Said" and a Successful Marriage

Courtship is where you move from divine instruction to practical preparation. When God speaks, it’s often a confirmation or a guiding light. However, God’s voice is not a substitute for human responsibility. Even in the Bible, when God directed individuals (e.g., Isaac and Rebekah in Genesis 24), there was still a process of discernment, prayer, and practical steps taken to ensure alignment. Many marriages fail, not because "God didn’t speak," but because couples neglected to build the necessary foundation.

What Should Happen During Courtship?

1. Understanding Each Other’s Purpose – Amos 3:3 says, "Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?" Courtship helps ensure your visions align.

2. Discussing Real-Life Issues – Marriage isn’t just love and romance; it involves finances, conflict resolution, family expectations, and spiritual growth (Proverbs 24:3 – "By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established").

3. Observing Character, Not Just Feelings – 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 describes love as patient, kind, and selfless—not just emotional attraction. Courtship reveals how a person reacts to stress, anger, disagreements, and challenges.

4. Building Spiritual and Emotional Intimacy – Praying together, discussing the Word, and aligning spiritually are key foundations. 

This phase must be intentional. It is not just about spending time together but asking deep questions like:

  • What is your vision for marriage?
  • How do you handle anger and disappointment?
  • What role do you believe I will play in your life?
  • How do we align in our faith and values?
  • How can we navigate moments of sadness, disagreement, or crisis?

These are the issues that cause chaos in marriage if not addressed early.

Final Thought

God’s voice is essential in choosing a life partner, but wisdom and preparation are just as crucial. The fact that God has spoken doesn’t mean everything will automatically work out—you must still cultivate understanding, build trust, and follow biblical principles.

A lasting marriage is not built on just a prophecy, a dream, or a conviction. It is sustained through prayer, wisdom, intentional courtship, and commitment to God's word.

In the next blog post, I’ll be discussing why some God-ordained marriages still fail and the key mistakes many people make even after hearing "God said." Stay tuned!

What Are Your Thoughts?

Have you ever struggled with this question? Do you believe "God said" is enough, or do you think courtship is essential? Let me know in the comments!

Comments

  1. AnonymousFebruary 13, 2025 at 1:30 AM

    This is really amaaazing and very educational.Looking up to more similar contents.

    ReplyDelete

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