From Talking Stage to Situationship : Are You Setting Yourself Up for Disappointment?
“Are you in a relationship?”
“Oh no, please but I’m in the talking stage— it’s like in between, kind of a situationship. It’s not official yet.”
Too many abstract definitions, too many gray areas. But let’s be real: Are you in a relationship or not?
If it doesn’t come with commitment and intentionality, then the answer is no. Situationships and talking stages have become overused tags, but let’s break them down for what they really are.
What Is a Situationship?
A situationship is a situation between two people—often an unpleasant one—where there’s no real commitment, just emotional attachment and confusion. It’s not a pre-relationship phase. It’s just unclarity in action.
What About the Talking Stage?
The talking stage is basic. When you meet someone new, you naturally get to know them. There’s no need to tag it as something special. It’s either friendship or nothing —simple.
What Causes the "Talking Stage" Confusion?
1. Desperation to Be in a Relationship
Some people need a definition because they’re so eager to be with someone that they label even casual conversations as a step toward commitment. But here’s a striking question:
Have you ever heard a guy say he’s in a talking stage?
Probably not. That’s because men typically don’t rush to define things until they are ready to commit. It’s mostly women who attach emotions early, invest deeply, and expect something to come out of it. Meanwhile, the guy may just be enjoying the moment—no rush, no urgency.
2. Lack of Boundaries
Let’s be honest. Most of the time, the question "So, what are we?" comes up when you’ve already started committing emotionally and physically without a clear definition.
- You’re texting him morning till night.
- You’re sharing personal struggles, building deep emotional connections.
- You allow pet names like sweetheart, babe.
- Maybe there are even make-out sessions involved.
At this point, you already have a situation, so you give it a name: situationship.
But here’s the truth: If you had set clear boundaries from the start, you wouldn’t be in this mess.
If you decide that:
- You won’t text a guy excessively.
- You won’t be emotionally vulnerable with someone who hasn’t committed.
- You won’t give relationship privileges to someone who hasn’t earned them.
Then, you won’t find yourself in an undefined talking stage. It’s all about self-respect and discipline.
3. Unclear Communication of Standards
Many people call their relationships situationships simply because their expectations aren’t being met.
For example, if you believe a relationship should include:
- Consistent check-ins on your well-being.
- Planned physical dates.
- Regular communication—not ghosting for weeks.
Then communicate that. If the person doesn’t meet your standards after genuinely communicating and giving time for a change, walk away. Don’t tag it as something confusing. It’s either a relationship or it’s not.
The Self-Worth Factor: Know Who You Are
A woman who values herself doesn’t chase after emotional breadcrumbs.
A woman who knows her worth doesn’t beg for commitment.
A woman who understands her value doesn’t settle for inconsistency.
If you find yourself in a talking stage that’s dragging on, step back and ask yourself: Is this truly what I deserve?
A man who values you won’t leave you in confusion. He will pursue you with clarity. He will be intentional about making things official. He will honor your standards.
So instead of asking, “What are we?”, ask yourself: “Is this relationship treating me in a way that aligns with my worth?” If the answer is no, then you already have your answer.
Why the “Talking Stage” and “Situationship” Tags Are Harmful
1. You Give Relationship Benefits Without Commitment
You invest your time, emotions, and energy into someone who hasn’t committed to you. You expect boyfriend or girlfriend treatment, but to the other person, you’re just a conversation partner.
2. It Creates Anxiety
You constantly wonder: Does he see this as something serious? Does he still like me? Is he talking to someone else? Every text, call, or meeting is filled with uncertainty. That’s not love; that’s stress.
3. It Makes You Look Desperate
The moment you start explaining, "We’re getting to know each other", or "We’re not dating yet, but…", you’re already over-explaining.
How to Avoid These Unclear Tags
1. Take Things As They Are—Not As You Want Them to Be
If a guy isn’t committing but still expects your attention, take it for what it is: he’s not serious. Stop hoping for a future commitment when he’s already showing you where he stands.
2. Set Clear Boundaries
Your actions should reflect your standards. Carry yourself with dignity so men know there’s a difference between how you treat a friend and how you treat a boyfriend/fiancé.
3. Learn to Communicate
If a guy crosses your boundaries, address it. If you’re feeling neglected in an actual relationship, speak up. If nothing changes, walk away—you’re not meant to be taken for granted.
4. Follow His Pace—Don’t Run Ahead
Let the man set the commitment pace. If he’s not consistent in communication or doesn’t prioritize you, don’t force it. Match his energy. Keep your life busy and move forward with dignity.
Final Thoughts
The talking stage isn’t a thing. A situationship is just an unpleasant situation. I am not saying that you should not enjoy conversations with a man and try to get to know him, but I'm saying "do not tag something that doesn't have a tag". Stop complicating what is simple. If it’s not a relationship with real commitment, it’s nothing more than a friendship (or less).
Set your boundaries, communicate clearly, and stop giving your time and emotions to men who don’t deserve them. You’re a woman of value—act like it.
Wonderful content
ReplyDelete