"Mr. Right or Mr. Imaginary? Are You Looking for Love or a Life-Size Mannequin?"

 

What if I told you that the man you’re dreaming of might not even exist? Or worse—what if he does, but you’re so fixated on your checklist that you never recognize him?

"I want a tall, handsome, broad-chested guy with six packs, black curly hair, brown eyes, dark skin, a toned jawline, and a sweet smile. Plus, a touch of gentleman and bad boy vibes. I want him rigid but not dominating, soft with me but not too vulnerable, manly but not dictating to me."

The line for almost all ladies.

You might as well get some clay and come for pottery classes.

Are We Doing Too Much?

Oh yes, we ladies fantasize a lot about how we want our husbands to be. I'm sure you do too. But come to think of it—aren't we doing too much?

Just take a look at that description again. It was so emphatic about the exact physical properties—more than the internal qualities. You’re not marrying a container, lady. You’re marrying a person.

Your first checklist shouldn’t start with height, jawline, or abs. It should start with:

• Spirituality check
•  Personality checche
• Value check
• Character check

Then, and only then, can we talk about physical attributes. But most of us have flipped the order upside down.

Is It Wrong to Have a Spec?

Of course not. But mind you, your "spec" isn’t really YOUR spec—it has been influenced by movies, social media, and society’s idea of the “real man.” So although you may call it your spec, it has been shaped by external influences.

That said, physical attraction still matters. Some people feel it instantly, while for others, it grows over time. But let’s take a little journey through the mind for a second.

Ever met a man who checked every physical box, only for his words and mindset to make him look completely unattractive? The moment you hear him speak disrespectfully or treat others poorly, suddenly, his looks don’t matter anymore.

On the flip side, have you ever met a man you didn’t find physically attractive at first, but the more you saw his kindness, confidence, and masculine presence, the more appealing he became? His looks didn’t change—your perception of him did.

This is proof that physical traits are important but secondary. They should only come into consideration after the internal qualities have been checked. Because, at the end of the day, people don’t stay the same forever. Life happens, stress sets in, and appearances change. What holds a relationship together through all that is character and the state of the heart.

So, go back to your drawing board. That dream man of yours—will you ever find him, or should you start looking for a pottery class?

"What’s one physical trait you used to think was a must-have but later realized didn’t matter as much?"

Let me know your thoughts in the comments!