The Uella Perspective

Have you ever found yourself waiting for something so intensely that it feels like time is playing tricks on you? Maybe it’s a job, a spouse, financial breakthrough, or a long-awaited dream. The longer you wait, the more your mind starts to wander—doubts creep in, frustration rises, and suddenly, compromises that once seemed unthinkable start to feel reasonable . Waiting does something to us. It has a way of pulling back the curtain, exposing the raw, unfiltered version of who we are . It doesn’t just test our patience— it reveals our priorities, desires, and values in ways we never anticipated. What Delays Reveal About Us I had this realization while studying Acts 7:40-41 : “They told Aaron, ‘Make us gods who will go before us. As for this fellow Moses who led us out of Egypt—we don’t know what has happened to him!’ That was the time they made an idol in the form of a calf. They brought sacrifices to it and reveled in what their own hands had made.” Moses was on the mountain rece...

Have you ever been in the same room with your partner, yet felt miles apart? You're sitting together, but instead of engaging in deep conversation, you’re both glued to your screens—scrolling, liking, commenting. You’re physically close but emotionally distant. This is the reality of many modern relationships . Social media and technology, designed to keep us connected, are ironically pulling couples apart. The convenience of virtual communication has redefined relationships , making digital connection feel like enough, even when it’s not. If your relationship is more active online than in real life, you might be in a virtual relationship without realizing it. What is a Virtual Relationship? A virtual relationship is a relationship that thrives on texts, calls, and social media interactions rather than real-life experiences. It’s where couples spend more time engaging online than they do face-to-face. This type of relationship is common in long-distance setups, but even couples w...

“Are you in a relationship?” “Oh no, please but I’m in the talking stage— it’s like in between, kind of a situationship. It’s not official yet.” Too many abstract definitions, too many gray areas. But let’s be real: Are you in a relationship or not?  If it doesn’t come with commitment and intentionality, then the answer is no. Situationships and talking stages have become overused tags, but let’s break them down for what they really are. What Is a Situationship? A situationship is a situation between two people—often an unpleasant one—where there’s no real commitment, just emotional attachment and confusion. It’s not a pre-relationship phase. It’s just unclarity in action. What About the Talking Stage? The talking stage is basic. When you meet someone new, you naturally get to know them. There’s no need to tag it as something special. It’s either friendship or nothing —simple. What Causes the "Talking Stage" Confusion? 1. Desperation to Be in a Relationship Some people need a...

Have you ever wondered why some people seem to sabotage every good thing that comes their way while others thrive no matter what? It all boils down to one question: Do you have a virus or an antivirus? Strange question, right? But think about it. Just like a computer virus corrupts files and slows down performance, there are invisible "viruses" in our lives that infect our mindset, emotions, and relationships. These viruses distort how we see the world, making us filter out the good and focus only on the bad. On the other hand, an antivirus is like a built-in defense system—it protects, filters, and fights off anything that could harm us. So, the real question is: What’s running inside you? Viruses That Corrupt Your Life Viruses in life don’t come as red warnings on a screen. They’re subtle, invisible, and often disguised as normal thoughts or emotions. Here are some of the most common ones: 1. Mindset Virus: The Lens You See Through Your mindset determines how you i...

The true weight of sacrifice isn’t in what is given—it’s in the heart behind it .  Sacrifice is inevitable. Whether in relationships, career, faith, or personal growth, we constantly give up something for something else.  There are two kinds of sacrifices: Sacrifice from love , which strengthens and fulfills you. Sacrifice from responsibility , which eventually drains and exhausts you. When Love Becomes Obligation It starts with passion. You joyfully serve your partner, your family, or even your calling. But over time, expectations set in. What was once an honor becomes a duty . The shift is so subtle that you don’t even notice it until you start feeling resentment. You know you’ve moved from love to obligation when: You count how much you’ve given and expect the exact same in return. You feel trapped , wondering when your sacrifice will end. You seek ways to escape your responsibilities. Is Sacrifice from Responsibility Bad? Not necessarily. There will always ...

One of the biggest mistakes women make is putting their lives on hold when they enter a relationship. They shift all their focus to their partner, often at the expense of their God-given purpose. But your purpose existed before that relationship, and it should continue regardless of your relationship status. Your Purpose Is Your Divine Assignment God created you for a reason—you are the answer to a problem on Earth. When you pause your life for a man, you are essentially saying, “God’s plan for me can wait.” But should it? Absolutely not! A relationship should complement your purpose, not replace it. Losing yourself in someone else’s life only diminishes the value, passion, and drive that first made you stand out. Why You Should Keep Pursuing Your Purpose 1. God has a vested interest in it. Your purpose is not just about you; it is a divine assignment. Fulfilling it honors God and aligns you with His will. 2. A life of purpose makes you valuable and focused . A woman who is driven an...

Have you ever heard someone proudly say something that made you pause and think, Wait… that doesn’t sound as great as they think it does? In today’s world, people love to boast about their " high standards " and " strong boundaries ," but sometimes, these statements are just veiled character flaws . What some consider confidence or wisdom is actually a lack of gratitude, patience, or emotional intelligence. Here are a few things people proudly say that may not be as admirable as they seem : 1. "I’m not easily impressed, so it’s hard to please me." Oh? Is it when someone sweats blood in service to you that you’ll finally be impressed? Some people say this as if it’s a badge of honor, but is it really? Gratitude isn’t about how extraordinary something is—it’s about recognizing effort, big or small. If nothing ever seems to meet your standards, maybe the problem isn’t that people are "average" but that you lack appreciation and tenderness of heart ...

Have you ever wondered how a marriage that started with a clear divine instruction still ends in heartbreak? How is it that two people who were convinced that God brought them together now stand as strangers—or worse, enemies?  It’s a paradox that shakes the faith of many: marriages that were supposedly “made in heaven” still falling apart on earth. The truth is, hearing from God about your spouse is just the beginning— it is not a guarantee of success . Marriage is not autopilot; it requires intentional effort, wisdom, and unwavering commitment to God's principles. The painful reality is that even a God-ordained marriage can fail if couples neglect certain foundational principles. Let’s dive into the key reasons why some divinely led marriages still collapse and how to ensure that yours thrives.  Key Reasons why Some Divinely Led Marriages Still Collapse  1. Mistaking ‘God Said’ for ‘It Will Be Easy’ Some people believe that because God spoke, everything will fall into p...

Imagine standing at the starting line of a race, heart pounding, eyes fixed on the finish line. The gun goes off, and you sprint forward, driven by the pressure to win. But as you run, you begin to notice something strange—you don’t know where this race is leading. The track is unfamiliar, the competitors are relentless, and the pace is exhausting. Yet, you keep pushing because everyone else is running too. Sound familiar? This is what happens when we treat life as a competition—constantly chasing after success, approval, and expectations set by others. We run without questioning the direction, without pausing to enjoy the scenery, without listening to ourselves. And in the end, we lose the most important thing: the joy of the journey itself. The Illusion of the Race Comparison has a sneaky way of turning admiration into competition . You see someone excelling, and at first, you’re inspired. But then, without realizing it, you start trying to match their pace. You push harder, run fas...

I received a call from a friend the other day, and the question she asked stopped me in my tracks. "How do you know the difference between God saying ‘This is your spouse’ and just getting to know someone through courtship? What if God truly speaks, but things still fall apart? Should I trust divine instruction, or should I just date to understand the person first?" It wasn’t just another relationship question—it was a real dilemma that many people secretly wrestle with. And the truth is that I didn’t have a one-line answer because I’ve seen both sides of the story: Couples who married because “God said”—yet their marriages ended in divorce. Couples who dated for years, thought they knew everything about each other, yet still couldn’t make marriage work. People who ignored God’s voice and suffered for it. And those who followed only their emotions and ended up broken. So, where do we draw the line? If God reveals someone as your spouse, does that mean you should rush into mar...

Are You Really Single?  You tell yourself you’re single. You tell others you’re single. But are you? Because if you hesitate when another guy asks for your number… If you feel guilty accepting a date… If you keep updating a certain someone about your day...  Then maybe—just maybe—you’re not as single as you think. Many of us unknowingly attach ourselves before commitment —giving loyalty, emotional investment, and even relationship privileges to someone who hasn’t claimed us. I get it. I’ve seen it happen. I’ve even experienced it and that’s why I’m writing this.  So, let’s talk. Are you really single, or are you just emotionally taken and what does it look like?  1. Seeking His Validation Before Making Decisions You stand in front of the mirror, choosing between two dresses, and your first thought is, Which one would he like ? You get invited somewhere, but before deciding, you wonder, Would he approve of this? 2. Feeling Guilty for Entertaining Other Men A guy asks ...